ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
