now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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