We got so high we made milksteak
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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