Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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