OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
