I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
