mondays should just be called national damage control day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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