Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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