Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
