Soap is not a condiment
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
