im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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