those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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