Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
