So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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