she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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