I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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