The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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