You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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