oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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