I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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