Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
