Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
