Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
