I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
