we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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