I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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