he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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