When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
