would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize