I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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