I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize