It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
