K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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