I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
