Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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