I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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