I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize