oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
