My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
