The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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