Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
