he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
