New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you would pick up someone in the library
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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