did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
