eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
