I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
