So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
