I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
