barbara walters just said penis...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
