Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no you cant smoke seaweed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
