apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
