Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
