i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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