in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
