No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
