fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
