What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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