I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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