just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
