Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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