i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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