We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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