i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
