feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
