with your own penis?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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