worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
